Imperious Sherbert

Hey guys,

Sherbert, here. Remember me? I'm the original original UrbanBulldog; the reason y'all started coming to this blog in the first place. That was before he of the floppy (i.e. stone-cold deaf) ears and the waddling (i.e. fat) behind showed up and ruined my retirement. I was the one with the original name and the story that tugged at your heartstrings. But now, I'm just the footnote. And I think a little story from this morning illustrates that fact as well as any.

So, Lunchbox and Engineer Dan were out for a walk - they go on a lot of walks because LB is h*y*p*e*r  - and LB was working his thing, sashying around like he does and looking all wide-eyed and cute (uh, really he's just scared batless). All of a sudden this nattily dressed man in a fancy Mercedes Benz pulls over - I think Engineer Dan said it was a G-series, or something - and starts proclaiming his love for Lunchbox.

Oh, is this a so-and-so bulldog? ED: Ah, no he's from Nebraska.

Oh, is he a show dog? He's got those great ears and he's all white. ED: Ah, no he's deaf.

Oh, is he a breeder? 'Cause we're looking for one like him. ED: Ah, he's got no B**LS. (Or something indelicate like that. It was early, and ED hadn't had his bacon yet.)

Oh, well...

And right there, right there, was the moment ED could have told the nattily dressed Mercedes man about his other beautiful bulldog, moi, Miss Sherbert. The one who was a star breeder (all the tabloids said so) and who rides around in a stunning red wagon. You think this one is spectacular to look at, you should see our other one, he could have said, but she's so delicate we can't let her out of the house (especially when it's snowing or rainy) and actually me and this mutt are on the way to the produce market right now to get her a whole bundle of finely chopped carrots. Yes, yes, that's what he could have said.

But no, like I said, I'm just an afterthought now. I'm just that sack of potatoes he carries up-and-down the stairs and fights for space with on the bed (just imagine ED if LB were let on the bed - it would be chaos!). I'm just the one he head wrestles with (I don't have teeth, remember) and the one he secretly slips those yummy fish oil pills when LB is cowering in a corner from the silent ghosts. And I'm the one that goes on vacation and for those long car rides...

....

....

Oh, my, maybe I've misread things. Maybe I should apologize for peeing on the sofa and then letting LB sleep in it...that really wasn't very lady-like.

NAH, that was pretty funny! And then ED gave Lunchbox a B*A*T*H! Ha.

Anyway peeps, thanks for listening and all. I feel a bit better about my status now. I think I'll go blow on LB's ears while he's sleeping.

Tootles,
Sherbs

Instagram Bulldogs

Recently the bulldogs, Engineer Dan, and I, plus a handful of friends, went to the mountains for a ski weekend.

There was little snow and lots of ice, and we spent a lot of time back at our six-level ski house talking to the bulldogs (OK, I spent the most time doing that, but that's usual). 

Try staying in a six-level house with one geriatric bulldog who can't do steps and one deaf bulldog who doesn't want to leave your side (and really that was a blessing, because how would we have found him otherwise?). Fun all around.
One of the best parts of the weekend was that our good friend Willi (photographer and gardening book writer extraordinaire: See DigginFood.com) loved taking photos of the doggies with her many iPhone apps.
These two made their way onto Instagram, and secured the doggies just a bit more fame. I wish I could say it wasn't going to their heads.

Bulldog Chemistry

The lady of the house left us for Utah last week. And when the lady is gone, it is time to break out the chemistry set!

It gets hard to spell after a bottle of Wet Bulldog Wine...

Disclaimer: No bulldogs consumed any alcoholic beverages in the making of this post

Bulldog Pajama Pants from J.Crew

You know you have good girlfriends when they will force your husband to buy pajama pants a) from J.Crew and b) that feature bulldogs wearing antlers. 

These gems were found at the J.Crew outlet in Silverthorne, CO and if it wasn't for said persuasive friendly shoppers, Engineer Dan would have passed them right by.

Another friend picked up a pair for her sister featuring pugs, I think, wearing antlers. I must say bulldogs are much better situated to wear antlers, size-wise and all.

It doesn't look like J.Crew is selling these pants online...but I did find this:

Boys' long-sleeve holiday bulldog tee

Too bad it doesn't come in Big Kid sizing...or Dan would have quite the outfit!

p.s. Happy 400th Blog Post! Perhaps not the blowout of a blog post y'all were hoping for, but merry nonetheless!
Frosty Paws all around!

Hand Signals for a Deaf Bulldog

1. SIT

2. COME

3. RELEASE or DROP

4. NO (i.e. Don't Bite, Don't Attack Sherbert)

5. GET DOWN

We have now had Lunchbox for almost a year and I can say with semi-confidence that we have taught him a thing or too. The hand signal for Sit was the easiest to teach him, because that usually involved a meal or snacks. And surprisingly Get Down registered quickly as well. We realized early on that we were using one hand signal for too many instructions (at first No and Get Down were the same signal and we were using that signal A LOT). What's interesting is that the hand signals seem to work really well when we have guests over (he's a show off!), and that like most dogs he has selective "hearing" even when it comes to hand signals. The tricky part is making sure the little bugger is looking at you. One book said we should throw a hankie at him...but LB is ridiculously skittish and I'm not really interested in masquerading as a football referee. So, we spend a lot of time tapping him on the head and looking deep into his eyes, and then we show him our hand signal.

It's been a learning process for all of us!